The Birth of Weston

After weeks of prodromal labor, my contractions had gone away almost completely that day. I felt like I had missed my boat. There I was at 40 weeks and 5 days round, uncomfortable and a pile of tears. I was convinced I would never have the baby. I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Thankfully, my mother in law had taken our older son for the night and I took advantage by going to bed around 9:30. 

Around 2:30am I woke up after trying to sleep through 3 or 4 painful contractions. I got up to see if walking around would help me manage through them. They were coming about 3 minutes apart and were very strong. However I wasn't sure if I was in labor or not. I woke Dustin up and told him what was going on. He joked and said he remembered this from last time. I was serious and using foul language. I had to be in labor! We decided to call my midwife, Carole around 3am. She listened to me over the phone endure a contraction and decided to come. 

I had to keep upright and sway my hips to make it through the surges. The pain was all in my hips and right around my round ligaments. I needed it quiet and dark during the surges but I was still able to keep my sense of humor between contractions. Dustin and I were being very sarcastic and he kept me laughing. Carole text me to fill up the tub so Dustin started working on that.  I retreated to our bathroom where I could stay in the dark and quiet. I focused on the light of a candle and moaned loudly through all of my contractions, making sure to relax into them as much as I could and welcome the pain as it was bringing my baby closer to me. Every once in a while I would have to give myself a pep talk to remind myself that this is natural and normal and good and that I am capable as they started to build in strength and duration. 

Carole showed up around 5am and began setting up. I asked her to check my dilation and to my surprise and relief I was at a 6 or a 7. Yay! These pains were not in vain! I got up and worked through one or two more contractions and then I had to puke. Oh hello transition!

 I was nervous about getting in the tub because I wasn't able to endure through a contraction in any other position other than standing straight up and swaying my hips. But Carole said I would be surprised at how comforting it was. She was so right. Immediately the water soothed my aching hips and back. I was able to actually relax and rest a little bit. Carole suggested I relax and melt into the water and breathe through my next contraction. They were building and becoming more frequent and much stronger. Soon I was no longer able to relax in a reclined position and had to flip to my hands and knees and rock back and fourth. I continued to be very vocal as I felt it was the only way I could focus on something other than the strong sensations. 

It began to get scary. I could no longer find a comfortable position and I could no longer find any relief during the surges. I started to panic. Thankfully Carole was sitting next to the tub and calmly looked at me and said "it's going to really fucking hurt, and nothing is going to help. Every position is going to be shitty. That's ok. It means you're so close to holding your baby in your arms". I felt comforted by those curse words and giggled a little in relief. This is ok, this is part of the experience of transition. I just kept visualizing climbing a mountain through my contractions. As they would build I simply acknowledged this was the shitty part but I could make it to the top, and coast as they slowly diminished. The entire time I was moaning, I kept thinking the neighbors are going to think I'm being murdered. I was rocking this. Even if I did sound similar to a laboring cow 😉. 

Soon I felt tiny little urges to push. I'm not sure if they were actually urges or I was just wishful thinking! But each contraction I would grab onto the sides of the tub and hold myself up and push just a little bit. I was shaking so bad at this point. I couldn't find a comfortable position and it was exhausting. I was either squeezing or biting into a washcloth or the tub (thankfully no teeth were broken... That was not smart). Finally in a squatting position I found some comfort. Carole checked and said my waters were still intact. So of course I yell at Dustin to be ready to take a picture because if he's born en caul it's going to be super cool. #priorities Carole mentioned that he had a hand up by his head but it was ok and quickly asked if I wanted to catch my baby, but I was so scared the tiny little balloon he was about to be born in would slip from my shaking hands, I said no so Carole received him and put his little bubble on my chest, then swiftly broke the sac. Which makes me wonder, was he born in that moment, while I was holding him on my chest? So relieved that he was crying I took a deep breathe. It was amazing. I did it! He was here and healthy and telling us very loudly about his journey. I sat there holding and watching him stretch and squirm in the water. He was so alert!! It was magical. 

Having Dustin there and witness the birth of our baby boy was so wonderful! I can't imagine it any other way. I felt so supported and so loved in such an intense moment. I wish everyone could experience such a positive birth an feel the strength of amazing support. 

Weston Brian Ashley was born in the water at home at 7:08 am on Sunday September 13th 2015. He was born en caul with a nuchal hand. He weighed 9lbs 2oz and was 19 inches long.